So did anyone lose theirs after surgery?!

Or am I just hormonal and on birth control?! HELP!

DEFINITELY LOST IT!! If anyone has seen it..Please tell it it is missed! You'd think we'd be ANIMALS with our new bods...Not me! I could care a less...Bummer!

Jewel

Phew I'm glad I'm not the only one. I actually lost mine years ago and I asked my surgeon as I was lying on the operating table that if he found it while he was in there to give it a dust off hehehe. He thought that was a great joke and when he rang my husband to tell him everything went well he told him he was sorry but he couldn't find my libido.

I'm like jewel, I thought I'd find it again after surgery since I "feel" slim and sexy but heck, I just can't find the enthusiasm.

Anyone got any ideas on how we can get it back?

Barbara

Wow, join the crowd! I think hormones ebb and flow. I bought the book, The Sexy Years, and sought out a doc to get me on natural replacement hormones. They're called Bio Identical. It worked but I couldn't afford to keep taking them. I guess it works for a lot of people. Do your research first. It's sort of normal as you get older, but also when your body is going through a lot of stress and change too.

HI all sorry I havent had this problem, quite the opposite. But I have been without for a while now, but thats by choice. I am waiting for someone special who is on a plane now from Iraq!!

Thats ok Paige....we can be outcasts together!!! Mine is out of control and has been for a looooooong while!
For those who lost theirs I sure hope you find it soon!!!

Dang, glad to know i am not the only one. I mean I am only 29 years old. HELLO! My poor DH doesn't know what to do with himself. I htink he thought that after I started to feel better and good about myself I would be all over him. But I am justnot in the mood. I feel bad for him I really do... what is up. Hopefully SOON maybe once I hit more my range I will be better. I got on BC so that I could be safe.. wel shoot I haven't had any so why be on the BC... thought maybe that was my problem... oh dang it! Thanks ladies!

Mind if I ask what BC you are on??? I'm looking into getting on something other than condoms...not the timein my marriage for a baby...and am looking into the NuvaRing as I don't want to go back on Depo because it can take up to 18 months after going off of it to concieve, BC pills arent effective for RNY patients due to malabsorption, the patch isn't an option because of skin issues, and the IUD's arent recommended for those of us who haven't had kids yet. Looking for suggestions :)

WONDERFUL topic! Mine is AWOL in a big way. But my loss has to do with
antidepressants, age, total hysterectomy and perhaps the WLS.
Good luck to all of you/ us.

I am on the nuvaring... only been 2 months but it works.. I guess. lol

No loss here...as a matter of fact, I discovered it about a year ago. I will say that NOT being on BC caused the drive to be even stronger, but when I was PMS'ing...I was off the scale for moody and "don't even look at me!". Now that I'm on the Nuvaring, I'm more level.

My aunt told me that she didn't discover her libido until she hit her 40's. She said that it was like Mother Nature's way of giving one final push at becoming fertile! Now that she's in her 50's she says that it has tapered off.

My two cents.

I can join you here too...my libido went bye bye! I'm 3 years out now and STILL looking for it...I'm too young to have lost interest! I'm only 31 and if I get it...fine...if not...fine. Poor DH actually has to bug me to get any! I think part of mine might be psychological because honestly...I'm very insecure about my body...even more so now that I've lost the weight. All this.....skin.....just makes me feel gross. I'm hoping that after we have one more baby...I can somehow afford a tummy tuck and maybe for once feel good about my body. Don't get me wrong...I love my bypass and the health it's created...but it's like double edged sword...I love the new me...the health...the smaller body...the ability to actually have kids...but I have to be honest...I wasn't prepared for the skin or the disappearance of my libido.

Anyway, you ladies are not alone in the missing libido department....I'm right there with you.

Kristy

You are all so young! When you get to my age you will realize that desire comes & goes throughout life. That's OK. Sex is a gift we give our mates & ourselves. Don't get too hung up on your libido. It'll be back when you least expect it (and may not want it)! And remember, sex is a lot more involved than the sex act....have fun!

Mine definetly left for the 3 months after. It took I mean it is still taking me some time to adjust. My wonderful husband reassures me all the time and even tells me how "light" I am now. So it is helping. It is weird how losing weight effects our libido, and our mind. I think it takes time for our minds to catch up with our bodies! My biggest problem now is being self conscious about my new skin. Good luck to everyone on this problem! Just remember how beautiful we all are! And hot too boot!!!!

Great topic Neighbors and thank you for your candor.

I'm going to offer a clinical answer rather than personal. Don't get me wrong, I've rode the ebbs & flows of sexuality; just want to provide a medical answer vs. a personal answer quoting Prevention's Ultimate Guide to Women's Health and Wellness.

Page 153: "Low energy, menopausal discomfort and side effects from medications are just a few of the factors that may get in the way of good sex...Here are some suggestions that will help keep your passion at healthy and satisfying levels."

1: Accept your sexuality. Break barriers that make us feel sex is forbidden or improper. When a woman feels shame expressing her sexuality it prevents her from fully exploring and enjoying sexuality.

2. Love your body. Few women are completely satisified with their bodies. When you are with your partner focus on the parts of your body that you feel good about. When you think about the things that please you most, you wil feel more attractive and confident. After weight loss we know we have excess skin, but if you focus on your sexy spots and ignore the "flaws" you will feel more confident.

3. Keep your body healthy. Follow your four rules, drink loads of water, take your vitamins and exercise. When you take care of your body it is easier to show it off rather than shamefully hide it.

4. Allow intimacy to happen. Take time to ignore life's problems: mentally bundle them up to face another day and allow yourself the pleasure of intimacy. During intimate moments try to focus entirely on the moment at hand. You can always deal with responsibilities later.

5. Give nature an assist. There is no shame in using lubrication. Medications, including birth control, may cause vaginal dryness. This is not a character flaw -- use some drug store or adult store lubrication and make a game of it. Slick sex trumps dry penetration everytime.

6. Consider herbal remedy: Saw Palmetto (serenoa repens) is known to increase sex drive in women and blocks the effects of androgens, male hormones that can caus eexcessive hair growth. CAUTION: May cause stomach problems so consult your physician first. A normal dose is two 500-mg tablets three times daily.

Do not just accept a loss libido is the result of surgical weight loss. Certainly your body has been through serious trauma -- help it out and it will reward you.

I lost my sex drive after my daughter was born....9 years ago!!. I think some it has to do with being on BC pills. Now that I have had the WLS the BC pills don't seem to be working. I am on Seasonale. Before surgery they worked great. One period every three months. Once month after surgery I had a cycle for four weeks. Not sure what this is all about. I am thinking of going off the pill and to some other form of birth control. My husband wouldn't know what to think if my libido came back all the sudden. I'm sure he would be very happy.


Merry Christmas to all.

Wow I don't feel so alone anymore. I hope that onceI am all leveled out I will feel better. There are probably other issues, stress, a small child, living with my parents... those sort of thing probably aren't helping me any. Thanks everyone and Kaye for your knowledge and 2 cents!!! It makes me not feel so alone!!!

Merry Christmas!

Further to my post earlier.....................hubby comes back from 12 days in Australia today!! Need I say more?!

Great post Kaye!!! I think I go through cylcles myself. there are times when I can't get enough and times when I don't want to be bothered. I think it has a lot to do with how I feel about myself and how my husband is feeling too.

Hey Neighbors! Again, thanks for a great conversation. I was really tired the other night when I responded and left out an important point - so here is my PS.

The hormones estrogen and testosterone control sexual desire and infact testosterone is the lead character in female sexual desire. Estrogen is produced by the ovaries and testosterone by the adreanal glands. These little gems of desire live in the fat cells. So, we start losing weight at a rapid pace and chances are good they will become out of balance as they get flushed out with the fat cells. As you see here some are experiencing an increased libido while others have lost interest in sex. So again, there is a physiological reason for loss of libido after surgery - in fact - loss of libido is reported after many surgeries, not just weight loss surgery.

You can speak with you general care physician about hormone therapy and testing. But also speak candidly with your partner to form a bond of understanding which will build intimacy, one of the key's to a healthy sex life.

For those of you with some free time on your hands (if you're not busy in the bedroom, I'm thinking you might be free) the January issue of Glamour magazine has a great article about a guy who keeps a sexual diary of sorts. He and his wife have a baby and they both have some issues. Bottom line is that for a NY resolution, they agree to have sex every single day. No matter what. It is well written and quite funny. They end up getting things figured out and...well...I'm not going to ruin the end of the story for you. You'll just have to read it. Very cute and somewhat educational...as educational as Glamour can be. Three pages away, I learned how to put my makeup on when running late...

xoxo

Hey Neighbors -- I've been doing a lot of *business* posting today, but have been holding back and want to have some fun with this thread. While doing research a few days back on another topic I found a recipe for "Turn-On Tincture" - a holistic potion believed to take it up a notch in the frisky business. It comes from "The Green Pharmacy anti-aging Prescriptions" by Dr. James A. Duke and is considered a holistic means of rekindling the fire for both men and women. Here is the recipe from page 286:



Now, you may have to hunt online for YINYANGHUO and DAMIANA, but it just might be worth it if a dropperful this herb-infused-booze brings out the horny goat!!! Stu-Baby!!!

I think that YINYANGHUO and DAMIANA used to play cards with my mom on Saturday night...

LMAO!! I love card games!!

When I read this post to Jim he pulled out the Puritan's Pride catalog to see if they carry "horny goat weed" ----- they do.

Kim, LMAO!!!

What a delightful thread! I had so much fun reading it. I am not laughing at anyone who feels they have a real problem and there is a lot of great information throughout the thread too but it is fun to see where life can take all of us, no matter what the subject.

I too feel that life happens and if I was a little short on the bedroom responsibilities, learning to like my body again has helped a lot. Now I have to work on the loving it part!

Too funny, Kim!!! **hnyuck* *hnyuck* *hnyuck*

Those Puritans kept a secret or two under their dusters!

Our LAWLS affiliate Puritan's Pride is having a sale right now: Buy 2 Get 3 Free and FREE shipping!!


2008 is going to be a good year for goats!!!!

As a gag, we bought my dh the horny goat weed for his b'day. It is obviously a marketing thing only... =(

Maybe you were supposed to take it too????