I have been pondering this topic in my head since last night...in fact I could hardly go to sleep (meds and all) for thinking of this....so just maybe someone else has been thinking it too...

1) Do you see the "scales" as your friend or foe?? Why??

2) Are you afraid of the truth that they may tell you?

Here's my 2 cents worth, for what it's worth to you....

Answers:

1) I think I have seen the scales as both, my friend at times and my foe at others. I think I may have had an epiphany last night during my musings...if you knew me well you'd be scared about right now....
As long as I am working the program and losing weight I find that the scales are my friend and then if I am doing something "illegal" and I know I shouldn't do it then I tend to see the scale as my foe because of what it may reflect when I get on it.

2) Fear of the truth...hmmmm, yep that'd be me! I have often been told that I walk around in life with "rose-colored glasses"...never really seeing reality for what it is....... Interesting...why am I so afraid of the Truth? Maybe it's because I will see myself as a failure depending upon with way the scale tips...I think denial is a destination in Egypt...not an easy place to get to but not that difficult anymore and it's still a LONG LONG way from "reality"!

I decided last night that I was gonna weigh this morning...and then I got SO nervous, like almost in a panic when I was about to weigh....crazy thinking I tell ya...but the truth! I was mortified! I think I might have been less intimidated by a crazed gunman @ that point...but I pressed on and I weighed....it was not pretty, I was humbled and humiliated, and yet still a wee bit hopeful because of all I have learned on this site. I have regained a total of 36.2 lbs as of this am....probably more because I know I lost some weight (and have kept it off )during the 5dpt in November....Wow...reality s#*%s ! But at least I know WHERE I stand and I can do something about it...it will be work, but it's acheivable....weird thing is that EVEN with the gain I am, statistically speaking, a success!!! Gotta tell ya, not really feeling like a success, feeling kinda stupid and sad and mad at me for not stopping the madness sooner!!!! For not facing the truth sooner....

How are you feeling???


(hugs always make me feel better...)

Amelia, important things first. <since they make you feel better ;0) , and I like em too!!!>

Now, to answer your questions...

1. I see the scale as my enemy...always have. Since I was a child and they used to weigh us <at that time> in gym class in front of everyone, then make us do the physical fitness tests together, and weigh again...I used to hate the idea that I would get on that scale and not have lost a thing..I was maybe 8? Sine then, it has been something that I avoided like a plague. I prefer to see how my clothes fit, and judge what I have lost from there, but I do get on it once or twice a week, just to keep accurate records, though I dread those days all week.

2. I know that my scale <now this is in my head, whether right or wrong, and is just my opinion and how I see it> will tell me how fat I am and what a failure I am at this wls. I mean heck people...my bmi is still higher right now then most are when they HAVE their wls. So, I try to look at it positively...that I have come so far, am now doing so well, but deep inside me, I still feel like I am that woman that is 500 plus lbs, and the laughing stock anywhere I go. <yes, I am in therapy now...and it is helping..I am just having a bad day>

Amelia here are some more hugs because I like them too and they always make me smile even on my bad days......


I will get back to the question later let me think on it......hugs

I don't look at my scale as a friend or foe. I look at it as a tool. A mean "tool" at times (sorry, no pun intended). Sometimes I do fear stepping on the scale, only because I'm about to get caught for all my naughtiness. It's the only thing/person in the world I can't lie to. It knows the truth...the REAL truth. It won't yell at me for being bad, I do that well enough on my own, tyvm. But it won't lie to me. So...in reality, it's probably the best friend you have.

Toris, OMG I pondered this as well....I just forgot to mention it in this midst of my musings... :) Scary, huh??? (that we think alike!)

Actually, I think intellectually, I can see it as my friend, but emotionally it's too close for comfort, somehow. I'm telling ya, my brain is a mess when it comes to this... Funny how things come full circle. Before wls and my first surgeon consult, I was clueless as to what my weight actually WAS, didn't make it untrue but ignorance was bliss...or so I thought...actually ignorance was...I don't know maybe ummm just plain ignorance.... And then post wls, the scale became my friend and I didn't mind getting on to see what it "said" because it was always kind to me, I had a loss most times and never a gain... Until about a year ago, and now I'm back to the FEAR thing again! UUUURRRGGGHHH!

But at the same time as scared as I was/am, I pressed on, I made myself do it(weigh) EVEN though I really wasn't sure I wanted to know the "truth"! So, who knows maybe I have come full circle but not without a little wisdom to go with it... All I know for sure is that I do NOT ever want to go back to that 493 lb woman.... I MUST now chose to do whatever it takes to at the very least get the 36.2 lbs off, if not more....

Marianna...boy do we have some things in common! I am still considered (SMO, I think! Oh, to just be plain ol' morbidly obese)...The therapy thing...let me know how that goes... I have a REALLY hard time opening up to someone who has not or is not in my situation, I guess that's why this site is as much of a therapist as any 1 person could be...I have gone to therapy before, but it was not worth it to me...the therapist was great, the pain was just too great and I just did not feel "safe"...I feel safe here...maybe it's because we all are fighting the same battle... I'm NOT opposed to therapy, maybe it just is not time or maybe THIS n'hood is my therapist in more ways than 1!



Hugs to you as well, Emarie, my sweet friend....and you take all the time you need... :)


Oh yeh, hugs to you too Toris!:)

Here's the deal...this is your new "highest weight". Don't let the number get any bigger...just call it what it is and start to move that scale downwards!

The scale is my true friend. In my opinion, a true friend tells you the real truth...no matter how much it hurts. In exchange, we trust and respect that friends opinion and advice. Respect the scale...it never tells you what you WANT to hear, but instead, gives you the real 411!!!

Thanks for the straight talk Kim, aka Sarge! Seriously, though I understand what you are saying...I have even said it to myself...TODAY, actually immediately following my confrontation with the "scary scale" ...I may not want to "know" the truth but the truth is what will be the best for me...ok, ok, I get it!

BTW, on another note to you...I read some of your blogs last night and you TOTALLY crack me up!!!! Bet you are a blast to hang with....blessings!

I've posted whole threads and blog entries to this topic, so I don't want to get all preachy here. When I was m.o., the scale was my enemy, but no more. Now it's just another tool in my arsenal. It's not the magic 8 ball, it's not the arbitrator of whether I'm going to have a good day, it's not the judge of whether I'm a good person or a bad person. It's just a measuring device. It gives me a fact of where I am on any given day with weight. That's it.

Ok, I'm getting a LITTLE preachy here...Skip this if you're sick of listening to me preach. I think sometimes the reason people feel that the scale is the enemy is because of what the fact of their weight reveals to them. Let me try to explain: if you KNOW that you're not doing all that you can to make a situation better and then you get some kind of confirmation of that, well, it makes you feel bad about yourself. And since no one wants to feel bad about themselves, they transfer the bad association to the messenger. Bottom line: the scale is the problem, not me.

This is compounded when you feel that you ARE doing the right things and still not getting the results (i.e. following your diet and the scale ain't moving). This is the problem with weighing too often when you're losing. The scale doesn't adjust its message to take anything else into account. It doesn't know that you're retaining water, gaining muscle. It just knows how far the spring stretched this morning. Follow the rules. The rules aren't broken. They still work. They will work for you. If your numbers don't match your effort, forget the numbers, but don't forget the rules.

Ok, done preaching. Tune back in.

Sending you hugs of love with this. Don't ever give up. hugs and hope

Kim and Sandi...you two always seem to say something that makes me take stock about how much I am really using my tool, and if I am only making excuses and allowing myself to fail. Thanks for always being so positive!

The scale doesn't adjust its message to take anything else into account. It doesn't know that you're retaining water, gaining muscle. It just knows how far the spring stretched this morning.

How right you are...the tool is just that. A tool to work with on this never ending journey. It keeps me more honest - and confirms my frustration when I fall off the wagon...I have a love/hate relationship with the scale - but I know I can't live without the facts - and the fact is, the scale is the ultimate truth teller. No more, no less.

First, for me, putting the scale in perspective of my new WOL is what is important. The scale to me, like many others was always my enemy. Even when it showed a significant loss, I just KNEW it was going to show a significant gain the next day. I was kidding myself. Hoping that the pounds lost wouldn't be regained because I ate something or several somethings that I shouldn't have. Your weight can fluctuate several pounds each day. To stay consistant is impossible. Some days you are more hydrated or are retaining fluid. Others, you are showing results from a great workout a couple of days prior. The scale must be thought of as no more than another necessary tool in our road toward success. Accept what it says, even if you weigh yourself every day. Through acceptance, you gain strength. The strength to figure out where the gain came from. As Kim said, the scale tells you the absolute truth so take that truth and figure out what you did well when you lose and not so well when you don't. Then, You control the scale, it doesn't control you!

I just LOVE all of you and your candid responses.... Thank you so much for your input and wisdom as well as your encouragement!

I think the thing is that I am surprised myself @ MY fear of what it may or may not reveal....I mean it's not as if I'm a newbie...I 'm almost 5 years out and I'm "supposed" to have it all together now....NOT...guess it's just proof that this wls is not only an EVENT but also a PROCCESS....a process that is LIFELONG....I guess maybe somewhere in the back of my mind I must have seen wls as a quick fix... Don't get me wrong, I have made significant changes since 3-31-03 and had I not made them I'm sure I would be right back where I started, close to 500lbs...

I think bottomline for me is the processing of this new found truth about myself. Maybe I knew it but just NEVER allowed it to come to the surface as I did on this thread. This n'hood has really been a GOD send for me! My support group kinda dwindled away to nothing after our leader found that she had cancer and no one was really coming but about 3 of us any way...most of us had the surgery out of town and I just never tried to find another group... Now you all have become my support group....again thanks!!!

Btw...I started 5dpt again TODAY....I am taking back control...and I am going to lose the regained 36.2 lbs! I have come too far and worked to hard for 5 years to give up now....THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!!!!

Good topic.....
I'm trying not to get to put too much emphasis on seeing the scale move downwards. In the past, I've felt unsafe and unprotected if I lost below a certain point. For example, once I sabatoged my weight loss and gained everything back and more once when I dropped below 200 pounds. I don't know how certain numbers began to represent safety, they just did.
Lots of therapy, lots of work and the scale/weight isn't bothering me now. It just is what is is.

FUNNY STORY: I have a friend who has a talking scale. If she has lost weight, it says in a very pleasant voice "Your weight is ____. You have lost ___ pounds. Have a nice day." If she has gained weight it says in a very matter of fact voice "Your weight is _____. You have gained ___ pounds. Good bye." Behavior modification by talking scale!

ITM (Have a nice day.)

ITM...well said...IT TRULY IS WHAT IT IS...strange thing is I came to that exact same conclusion about myself(sabotaging...weight loss/regain) just prior to having wls...I don't think I am doing that anymore, but this certainly makes me want to re-examine myself to be sure...thanks for your input!

As for the talking scale...OMG!!! LOL! In a way that's HILARIOUS! But I don't know if I would want one or not....I mean your confidence level would definitely have to be "up there" in order to be able to take that kind of rejection FROM YOUR SCALE....but who am I to judge??? If it works for her...more power to her...she's either got a great sense of humor or ..ummm......confidence of steel! Either way, hats off to her!!!! LOL!