Hello all, I have been silently reading and receiving the newsletters for about five months, but this is my first post. I will be one year out RNY on February 22. My stats are great, I'm off BP meds, and all my blood work is amazing. I am down about 103 pounds (as of a few weeks ago, I haven't been on the scale recently). I started a size 24 last February and I'm now wearing a size 8/10, depending on the name brand. I'm 5'4 and weigh about 155. My original goal at surgery was to hit 150, which my surgeon supported, although he preferred my goal somewhere around 125. Now as I am approaching my original goal, I am thinking my surgeon was right, I need to lose another 25. I would have never believed I would feel so fat as a size 8!
Overall I am so elated that I had surgery and I have boundless energy to keep up with my Active Duty husband and our two daughters. While I am 90% elated, I am still coming to terms with the excess skin and the fact that I am flabby. I read all about it before surgery, but reading it and now seeing it are two different things. To top it off I feel like I don't have any right to complain since I rarely make it to the gym now that it is so incredibly cold.
I enjoy reading this sight and find tons of reassurance that my emotions are normal. I want to stay successful, but I need encouragement to get to the gym in the freezing cold or actually push play on one of my many exercise DVD's. Also, I have found slider foods and they feel so much better on my pouch. I do not have trouble with protein necessarily, I just don't care for the "heavy" feeling it leaves. I know the carbs are what made me fat to start with, and I refuse to continue this new cycle I have fallen into! I would love to hear how everyone else felt at one year out. I'm hoping that my recent slip ups and carb loving are normal and just a wrinkle I need to iron out, after all I am still learning to live after WLS.

mom2girls,
I'm too new to give you any advice, but wanted to hop in here & say "Welcome."
Break those new habits now so you're not on here with a 50 lb. weight loss in a few months. Please! Do it for your girls.

I hear several things in your email that I'll touch on... hopefully briefly... But at one year out, I had already met goal and had my plastics. I met goal in 8 mos, 1 week. I was very 'ALL OR NOTHING' and strict on myself. It was like a switch was turned on in my brain when I had surgery... and I was determined to get rid of all the weight. I followed every rule in the gastric bypass manual provided from my doctor's office... dotted every "I" and crossed every "T". But, once I met goal, I still fat too just like you said.

Several things: I first started at 251 lbs. I set small goals along the way.
*Wanted to get to 200 (200 came and went... not content)
*Wanted to get to 175 (came and went... still not content)
*Oh to be 150! That would be great (came and went, still not content)
*To be a size 8! (came and went)
*To be size 6 ( came and went)
*Be size 4 (came and went)

But guess what? As long as I looked in my mirror, I saw FAT. I hated it. I was loathing my body very much. But it was a hanging panni, and nothing I could ever do would help it except to have a tummy tuck. I had my tummy tuck/muscle repair 10 mos after my gastric bypass... when I took those bandages off, looked in the mirror, it was overwhelming. I could actually see my pubic area! I had to previously lift up my stomach in order to clean myself or even see it! If I moved too quickly in the bathroom or bedroom, while naked, you could have heard the flapping pounding of my stomach against my legs! It was embarrassing (even though no one was around when it happened!) That's why plastic surgery was a must for me, and I think probably it would be the "finality" of many people's issues if they've had the gastric.

I still have loose skin. I had to resolve myself to the fact that I have done this to my body... I let myself become obese and like the plastic surgeon said, though I want to "erase all signs that I was ever obese", that simply isn't possible... oh yes I could spend a ton of money (that I don't have) and spend a lot of time recovering (which I don't want to go through that again)... sometimes I look at my loose skin (which no one else notices) but I have tiny bone structure! I was meant to be tiny, I guess... like my father. Who would've thought it? I lied for years saying I was big boned!

My point is, if your surgeon had a goal of 125, and you still feel like there is weight to be lost, go for it! Just make sure that you remain in his care, do what he says, and if he tells you to stop, then stop... My surgeon's original goal for me? 140 or less. Then he said, stop at 120. Then he said I could lose down to 115, but NO MORE. I maintain my weight at 118.

OK one more thing: on the subject of where i was at a year out... I had started adding foods back but felt extremely guilty. They were not "no no foods", but just food that I would never allow myself to have after surgery. But I had to increase my daily calories or else I would continue losing. I stay within 1100-1300 calories a day so I wont start losing again. There for awhile, I felt so incredibly guilty! It was hard to start eating MORE and to eat higher calorie foods... and I also increased my calories. I definitely watch everything, all food labels, but do allow myself to have some treats at times. I feel better about it now...just took time for my to mentally accept the place where I am... able to add some foods...

Welcome. glad you decided to post and let your presence be seen. Gosh a year out. what did that feel like? Um I was pregnant at the time so I dont think I am the best to say. I never got very small as being pregnant kinda haulted my wl. But I agree that PS may help you see your self diff. But of course until you love you for you and not for those wrinkles of skin then you prob wont be happy at any size. Also what we see is often not what others see. We are so critical and harsh with ourselfs. Enjoy being smaller than a 24. 18, 14, 10./ That in it self is awesome!!!

Like Melinda, I am very determined to 'follow the rules'. I view this surgery as my ultimate promise to myself to take care of myself, perhaps for the first time in my life. Therefore, I have lost 94 pounds in six months and should be at goal way before my one year surgiversary.

I live with the issues every day of flappy, hanging skin and there is less I can do about it than most of you who are many years younger than I. However, I would rather have that than to go back to where I was six months ago.

If you feel you still need to lose and it is in line with what your surgeon suggested for you, then you should go for it. Do it for yourself. You are the only one who can and there will be a lot of people here to encourage you along the way!

hi M2G and Welcome! I'm glad that you've decided to get in the conversation! I can really relate to what you say about the heavy feeling from the protein being unpleasant. I don't like it either. I never really realized that this feeling is what "naturally" thin people called full because I was stuffing my self so full of the fluffy stuff I couldn't feel "full." well, that was then.

After surgery I decided to not fear that feeling, but to use it to work for me in my weight loss. I don't like to feel it every time I eat, I stop before I get to that point. Even if it is only a few bites. I listen to the feeling and let it guide me. The carbs are not what makes us fat. It's the overeating that makes us fat. It is just a lot easier to overeat carbs than protein.

Once you get to your goal (and we got to face it: you stated it, so that makes it real): you will spend the rest of your life learning the fine art of eating delicious food in perfect amounts, if you learn to trust your feelings now.

People who don't learn to obey the feelings end up regaining because they do not have harmony between the physical feelings of hunger and the emotional responses of head hunger. Their brain tells them they need more, so they try to find foods that will allow them to continue eating. The pounds that I've gained have been from trying to eat more than I truly needed. It's easy to begin this game when you don't learn to appreciate and respect the subtle feeling of "full."

Don't fall for this trap. If you just can't stand to feel too full with the protein, try this: eat only the protein for the first few bites. Stop. Listen to your body. If it says, a little more, give it a half bite. Then when you body says, "uh oh that feeling is going to come," stop eating the protein. and allow yourself one or two bites of veggies (preferably cooked), then stop. Lay down your fork and walk away from the table for a minute. Go use the restroom or something. I call this feeling, "satisfied" but could eat more.

Try this experiment a couple of times and report back. What did you feel before, during and after the meal? Try to really listen and remember what was going on for you.

I'll check back and see what you have to say. When I did this with myself, I found it very revealing, and it helped me break through to reach my final goal.

good luck, I'm rooting for you!

That "heavy" feeling is the feeling of FULL. That's a necessary feeling for our "tool" to work and to help us to lose and maintain weight. Doing what you're doing (trust me, I did it to) is what will help you to REGAIN your weight. You're lucky to have learned now as you've only stopped losing.

I used to work for the military and you have the extreme FORTUNE of having a gym, exercise classes, etc. all available to you for FREE! (unless something has changed). I don't buy "cold" as an excuse not to get to the gym. The house is warm - you're in the cold for 2 minutes getting to and from your car (which you can pre-heat) - and the gym is warm. Cold is just an excuse. It's just plain old laziness (and going back to the excuses that got us here in the first place). Now, I'm not fussing at you - we've all been there (and I tend to be on the lazy side regarding exercise at the moment myself). But, it is what it is. Fess up and stop blaming mother nature.

I was a HUGE slider/carb addict before coming here. Since doing the 5dpt, I have completely eliminated refined carbs from my diet (although I did cheat the other night (time of month) and had 5 tortilla chips). The 5dpt has gotten me back in control, free from my carb addiction and I'm down about 14 lbs. Pretty good, considering I had about given up and was ready to resign myself to the fact that I might be "meant to be fat" *eye roll*

My recommedation would be to (1) get on the 5dpt. It's only 5 days of your life and you'll feel so much better at the end of it. (2) Hook up with other wives (enlisted/officer/whoever) who are looking to start exercising and then go work out at the base. Take a class (in San Diego, they had a huge schedule - step aerobics, regular aerobics, water aerobics, weight lifting, etc.), schedule a workout, and hold each other accountable! If I remember correctly, there were a LOT of wives/women who worked out - so if you can't find one you know - go to a class oro the gym and start chatting people up. Make it a SOCIAL thing. If my 82 year old retired (LCDR) father can go to water aerobics on the base 3 times a week, so can you!

Hi! I'm glad that you've finally come out and posted! Isn't this fun???

I hope that the posts here help you along. My first thought was that you MUST get strong with exercise. I'm not saying that this will remove the loose skin, but by feeling strong, you will not feel as fat...at least those are my thoughts. Make time to make it happen.

Now one thing that I hear over and over again is that carbs go down easier than protein and "that is why I'm eating them and why I've gained back XX pounds". Man, this sets my hair on fire. I'm not singling you out, because it's been said over and over again by those that have had regain. It is what it is...protein makes you feel full. Carbs don't. Carb's trigger those feel good chemicals in your body...a short burst that sends you to that happy place. You're not craving the carbs...you're craving the chemical release! It's an addiction that must be given up.

Being 90% elated is WAY better than where you were prior to surgery. You've done just great and I really want for you to nip all of this carb stuff in the bud...I don't want for you to be posting six months from now wondering how you got back up 25 pounds. Take that 10% to the gym and see what you can do! I know that you'll feel better, and guess what? You'll look better too!!!

Hang in there and love the body that you have.

This is such a great thread, ladies. Thank you. A few things really hit home, giving up the carb "feel good but lasts only a moment" sensation, reading our bodies subtle signals and, not the least, loving our bodies.

Mom2Girls, are you in San Diego?

If you are, am waving from North County.

Welcome.

I meant to say, "so you're not on here with a 50 lb. weight gain in a few months."

hi i to am a fellow carbaholic to. let me tell ui posted about carbs am i eating to much and u wouldnt believe the response i got yes i was eating way to much ! listened to the advice these wonderful people gave me and bam i lost 5lbs from not eating my carbs and stuffing myself with protien first and foremost. i wont totally cut out carbs but i dont eat them everyday or week. i look at it as a special treat if i can do it u can to. stay positiveu can do it.i look at like this concentrate on one goal at a time it will make it easier. as for hanging skin we all have it but it right now is a reminder to me of all tht fat that was hanging in it. take care and good luck!