Hi All,

It is great to be here, I stated in my intro that I am 7 months out and 72lbs down. I am finding things a little difficult in some respects. I do all the food shopping all healthy stuff. I notice that my husband who is gearing up for surgery himself sometimes wants a snack. If I am at the market I notice he will ask "Did you get anything sweet?" I will say fruit and he says nevermind. So the other day he requested something chocolate and I got indiviual wrapped snack cakes for him 2 boxes one regular and a different type reduced fat. Anyways, I am eating this crap! I have been really good so far, sure I have experimented but I do not by the junk. I am ready to tell him that this is sabotaging my success. Like an alcoholoc being sent out to buy booze. I ask him to hide them so I wont see them. I really don't wanna fail and I feel like my weight loss is slow. I am not drinking enough water. I am not sure if I am still supposed to be drinking protein shakes. I feel like I am spinning out of control and a part of me is a little scared of success also. I did read about that in the emotions articles on this site.

Any suggestions would be great. I need to drop alot more weight to feel good about me. Others don't seem to understand this. I did get some Low Carb Ice cream for an ocassional trest for us but I barely eat that either. I feel like I am always helping others and now I need help.

Thanks

This is going to be one of those "easier said than done" comments. Here it is...why are you polluting your body with crap? There isn't any need to "hide' it in the house, as you can easily run to any corner market to pick it up. In order to be a long term success, you need to make the decision, right NOW, that you are going to feed your body what it needs.

Sure, we all have our slips and pity parties, but you need to be able to fall back on your ultimate mission, which is to become healthy. That is why you had the surgery, right? If hubby needs something sweet, tell him that he can get it himself. No need to enable his weight gain.

Eat good food to survive. If I'm craving something sweet, I know that it has nothing to do with hunger. It is my brain doing the talking...the same brain that got me to almost 400 pounds. Why would I listen to it??? Sure, I have my moments when my brain wins and overall, my body loses. I feel tired and my digestive tract gets all out of wack. Thankfully, it doesn't happen often.

Hang in there! How about your name and where you are from, so that the "neighborhood" can get to know you?

Hey New in Town, I can so empathize. I am at about the same place as you as far as when I had surgery and how much weight lost. I also am dealing witha family who has had quite enough of my eating habits. My husband asked me ... are we ever going to have a real, hot, meal in the evenings? I guess his patiences is wearing thin (no pun intended) and I am trying to hang in. I can eat more now, I have few issues with "bad" foods. I find my self "grazing" sometimes. I too am afraid I will fall off my wagon and regain.Let me tell you. I appreciate Kims stern reply. I need to wake up and smell the coffee, I did this for me not anyone else. It is up to me to make the right decisions. No matter what is in the house or offered to me only I can make the decision to do the right thing. I am going to make myself write it 50 times (you know like we did in grammer school?) each time I think I want to cheat myself out of a healtly life. "Eat to live, not live to eat" 50 times until it is ingrained. Thanks Kim... I needed that! I hope you will become part of the neighbor hood too New in Town. We can help each other.

REGINA

By the way "New". I still want to loose 40-50 more lbs. If I want something sweet, I eat protein bars ( I tell myself they are a candy bar) and I just the other day tried an apple (peeled and sliced) and put a tiny bit of low sugar low carb peanut butter on it. It was awesome. I wondered why I had never tried it before, guess I thought I would hate it. It was "dabomb" and though peanut butter isn't the best thing for me, it was a great occasional treat when that snack monster is yanking my chain. I don't drink protein shakes much any more but I do drink ISOPURE which is a protein packed fruit flavored drink. It isn't terrible tastey but it ain't bad and has LOTS of protein in it. It sorta tastes like drab koolade to me, but it is sweet! Hey girl hang in. There are lots of great tips and suvivor techniques to be found on LAWLS.

Hi Leem - Good topic and good responses from both Kim and Regina.

Relational influences are certainly a huge part of the WLS life. How soon will your husband be having his surgery? I think we all went through our "last supper" phase before surgery when we tried to eat all the "can't haves". Unfortunately, this phase is in direct conflict with the weight loss phase in which you are engaged. That must be frustrating. Can you explain to your husband that you understand his state of "last supper" and respect it, but kindly ask for his respect of you in the weight loss phase? Maybe he doesn't realize how difficult this has become for you. He will need the support from you when he is adjusting to life after WLS, so you have the right to ask it of him. Something to consider.

As for sweet treats, the more you turn to healthy sweets the better-off you will be in the long run. There is a carb-spiral that can occur if one returns to processed sweets after WLS; they build a tolerance so blood sugar is not affected by sugar intake and processed sweets come with processed carbs and fat - which leads to weight gain. Regina suggested protein bars and that's a smart choice. Kim contributed at article about protein bars: Tastes Like Candy. http://www.livingafterwls.com/Library/KimsProteinBars.html

I hope some of this helps. I know there will be other great feedback for you. Please hang in there and stick with the Neighborhood - We are here for you!


Kaye

Leem: If your husband wants sweets or anything else unhealthy ask him to go & buy it & eat it outside the house in respect to you. If he is going to eat the unhealthy stuff it's not benefiting him either.

You need to stay strong & do what's right for you. YOU CAN DO IT GIRL.
We are all walking this walk together.

Love & Hugs Whoopi xoxo

Your husband is trying to have his last meal, but that's not helping you. It is imperative that you do what is best for you. You made the difficult decision to undergo this surgery for a reason. Don't let it be in vain.



You are worth the extra will power and effort it will take.

Hiya!

I can understand. I have 3 children and a husband, and they all want the occasional goody. I can still eat some snack foods and cookies even though I shouldn't. I've just asked that they put them out of my line of sight. I know they're in the house, and I can ask husband or whoever to give me a single cookie on occasion, but i'm not tempted because i don't see them constantly.

I've had to recover from a very all or nothing sort of attitude and realize that a single cookie isn't my undoing. It's an occasional treat. As long as I'm taking my multitude of vitamins and chugging my protein drinks and supplements daily it's not going to be the end of me.

If I eat a true meal before with protein it doesn't trigger cravings and I don't dump. If I eat a cookie/snack alone I will go on a sugar binge and dump. so why do i still eat them? i'm human, i guess.

Holly

Thank You all for the responses. My husband has not started his testing so he is not in his "last meal" stage persay. He is just snacking as usual eating his normal way. He has been wanting something sweet so when I bought it I told HIM to hide it so I would not know where it is and indulge. I can agree alot with Holly on this point. I may have an occassion lone cookie because I do not want to live my life feeling like weight loss surgery is a death sentence. I don't dump either I think I have dump envy. I wish I did dump. I may get gassy :blink: if I had something more than I could tolerate sweet or fat content wise, but not the shakes and all that. Does anyone really experience that anyway?

Well it is good to be here
I am from PA
and you can call me Leem B)

I have never had a serious dumping episode either Leem, it made me laugh but yes, I have dump envy too. I do have dump fear tho... that keeps me in check. I am able to eat most anything too, but I never have more than a couple bites of something that I shouldn't.... that is the dump fear coming out...keepings me from eating too much.

Some ppl really do have that horrible experience. I am sure you will hear horror stories of how awful it makes ppl feel. Not sure why I would envy such a thing!!!

crazy huh?

I know it sounds crazy to envy something like that. I think for me, being told that once you have this surgery you will not be able to eat this or that because of DUMPING (DUN DUN DUUUUNN!) and then nothing....

It is almost a let down. I think we kind of want that to feel like there is a control put in place that we may not have posessed before. I did not want to dump, but I felt like knowing I would if I crossed the line made me feel safe in a way. Since it has not happened with all those shocking details I feel like my surgery was not done fully or maybe the doc did not think I would handle dumping well so he wired me different. I dunno silly right? So I still have dump envy, but the fear that it COULD occur helps me so I never overdo it.

Weird stuff here huh?

:) Dumping Envy :)

OK - - I can't put this on the "LivingAfterWLS" website for legal reasons, but here's how you can effectively create a *dump*


Go 4 hours without food/water.

Eat something with 18g or higher sugar, preferrably something with processed carbs. Eat it fast.

Find yourself a secure spot, some towels, a blanket and a safe landing spot. Gatorade should be on hand. Do not operate a motorized vehicle. Do not online shop for little clothes!!!

:excl: Wait.

:excl: Panic.

:excl: Confusion

:excl: Sweat.

:excl: Dump.

:excl: Chills.

Do try this at home! NEVER EVER NEVER in public! :P

Or, just live in the fear that this will happen to you, someday, somewhere. Live in the fear!

(You do know I'm kidding, right?????) :lol:

Hi Leem,

I had Lap RNY on Oct. 20, 2003. I'm down 120 lbs (I'm 5'1," started out at about 220 or so lbs.) and have only had what I consider actual "dumping" maybe four or five times since WLS. And frankly, I can eat things that I wonder if I should be able to eat---sometimes. In my experience, it seems to hinge on when, with what, and how fast I eat things that will or won't create a problem.

My perspective on this topic is that sometimes it's teeny tiny a blessing, but in the long-term it's actually probably going to be an awful curse if I don't ALWAYS REMAIN VIGILANT about eating/doing the things that will keep me on the straight and narrow path that WLS set for me...

Another thing I've learned is that if I go ahead and eat the things I'm supposed to eat and then ask myself if I want a "treat," I almost NEVER want the other stuff at that point.
---Molly :)

You guys rock!

Thanks for all the responses to my thread and for understanding my "dump envy" hey where else could I talk about that? LOL

Leem

Wow, Kaye. You got me fearful. Its my worst nightmare. I dont want to dump nor do I have any desire to try to dump. Im doing everything in my power not to dump. That includes promising myself to do all the things necessary to make this surgery successful. Dumping is frightening. You just took it to a new level. THANK YOU!!!!

A couple of things that I can add here. Not all dumping syndrome is as Kaye described because I don't dump this way. I get the runs and will need a bathroom for hours before everything has passed. I will still feel weak, but other than racing for the bathroom, that is it. It is still no FUN!!! :o Another thought for healthier snacks. There are sugar free jellos and sugar free cool whip and either fruit flavored protein or unflavored protein that can turn the need for a sweet snack into something beneficial in a couple of ways. Jello was recommended to me as another way to make sure that I get my liquids in, sugar free is good and protein added makes a snack a protein boost. Just some thoughts. :rolleyes:

Great suggestions Tami! And I agree whole-heartedly, all people dump differently and all dumping episodes are not created equally. Keep following the rules Ginny, you'll do just fine!

Ginny,
I am 8 1/2 months out from my surgery. I have never dumped :excl:
Since my surgery I have not eaten one thing with over 7 sugars in it.
I used to love my chocolate more than anything. So far I have stayed away. :D I wonder as time goes by does it get harder to be strong. I worry it will...
Galelynn

I've only had a couple of dumping episodes but believe me that was enough. We all dump in different ways as was pointed out in a previuos post. Just learn your triggers. Some people NEVER dump.