As most of you know, I have FIVE wonderful, beautiful children: Brandon 16, Kristin 13, Dale 9, Melanie 7, and Jack 14 months. It has been interesting to observe how my WLS has affected them, and to ponder one or two things that I would do differently if I were doing it again with the knowledge I now have.

The biggest thing, that I didn't learn about until many months after my surgery, is that neighbors, people at church, etc. were approaching my kids and asking them about my weight loss before I made my WLS pubic knowledge. Since I never anticipated that people who were to chicken (for lack of a better word) to ask me about it would ask the kids, I did nothing to prepare them for such questions. I think that to spare them having to answer questions that if I were doing it again I would make my surgery public knowledge as soon as my weight loss became noticeable. Kristin came up with the best answer on her own. She told people that I studied and researched and found a program that worked for me. She's a smart girl!

The next thing is pretty humorous. Kristin and Melanie have always enjoyed curling up next to MeanOldDad on the couch when we are watching a movie or a game together. They have both made the point that I'm not as SOFT as I used to be! Cracks me up. I asked them if they would rather have me back the way I was, and they said NO. I have really great kids!

I was very upfront with everyone about my srugery and so made sure that the questions would come my way. I showed my nieces and nephews my incision, even let them touch it so that they would know why I had to be careful. They can see that I am able to do more things with them and so like that and are young enough that that is enough. Heather is seeing me lose weight and eat better and so is trying to do that herself, great feedback to how I have done!

You do have really great kids Jeff! Smart by the sounds of things!

and wonderful that you recognize that,,, now they will have you around for just that much longer!

:)

Just between Regina and me... only two of the kids are good kids. The other three cheered for the Hurricanes to win the Stanley Cup.

now I KNOW they are good kids. I have a special insert section of our local paper to send you Jeff.... Great photos of the Canes and lots of info. I am sure you will enjoy it, who knows, I may even turn you into a Caniac!!!!!!!

My "kid" is 23 so really no help here Jeff. But it is still a big problem for him. He lives in CT. I was 8mths post when I went to visit him. We were standing 10 feet from each other when he called my cell and ask where I was. Then this holiday season when he came home for a visit, I was waiting right at the end of the terminal for him. He walked right on by me. I sent him some pics of my new do recently and he wanted to know who it was. When I emailed him back that it was me he turned around and sent an OLD pic of me and said NO this is MY mom. He even added that one of his friendswanted to know who the hottie was.

Jeff, you Do have great kids! No wonder you love everything about being a dad!!! I wont have to worry about that myself...savin the baby makin for after I get healthy.....still gonna practice though

No offense to you or your kids intended but I have a question.....Do you think Kristen came up with that answer because she was trying to protect you from other peoples reactions and opinions, or do you think SHE didnt want others to know for whatever reasonthat you had WLS? The way you told the story reminded me of how my buddy Matts brother reacts when people ask if Matt is Gay. Matt is out but his brother can't accept it so denys that Matt is Gay so he won't have to deal with whatever comments peopls give him. This is just my own curiosity ...I wonder how people tick

I've actually talked to Kristin about this, and she was never ashamed or embarassed. She knew during my first six months that I was preserving my privacy about the surgery. Now the kids have been instructed to tell folks that I had weight loss surgery, and I'd be happy to answer any questions that they have.

Jeff, you and your family are just grand. It ALMOST makes me wish that I had children. Only for a minute and then it passes...thank goodness! Glad that you had five to make up for my lack of contribution to the human race ;)

you contribute just fine----just not to the population

Wow... interesting topic, MOUJ. I don't have children so I did not have to deal with this... people certaintly do lack couth.

~L

:)

Very good topic. And Kristin is such a bright and sensitive darling - I just love her (and the others too, of course!)

I am also interested in knowing what behaviorial changes your children have adapted by following and observing your WLS lifestyle. What is being done to make sure they never end-up on the surgical table?

I have three kids my son who is 25, two daughters 22 and 14. I included them in everything about the surgery. I did not tell anyone but family and close friends I was having the surgery. There are still alot of people that don't know in my town. I think I have gained and lost so many times that people just don't react that much. They are probably waiting to see how long I keep this weight off. My kids have been a great support they are very proud of me and love the way I look now. I think my 14yr old worried some that my personality might change alot. I of course did not change toward her or any of my family. She loves that I love to shop now and we go to the mall a whole lot more. She is drinking more water now and will pick a salad over fast food now. I encourage healthy eating without preaching it. She is a kid still and wants junk food. I believe that if you with hold it then they may become sneak eaters. It is a fine line when it comes to knowing what to allow and how often.
Galelynn

I really like Kaye's question. While I have not forced or imposed my restrictions on the entire family, some natural changes have taken place. First, they hardly ever eat fried food any more since I don't eat fried food. MeanOldMrsJeff makes sure that our meals are designed so that I can eat them, which benefits the entire family. The entire family eats a lot more protein, and a lot less fat and way fewer carbs. Sure they have their treats, but they are less often. Since my surgeon has forbidden carbonated beverages, I don't keep soda in their house, and so they only have soda on very rare occasions. They like my 100% natural fruit juices (with no sugar added). They seem to have started enjoying my snacks! We order a lot less pizza than we used to. Brandon and I have been going to the gym together, but my membership just ended. Rather than renew, we are assembling a home gym upstairs, complete with weight lifting equipment, eliptical trainer, treadmill, television, and mirrors on the wall. All of the kids have expressed an interest in an exercise program. The boys and I ride our unicycles together, which, if you haven't tried it, is excellent exercise, and it works muscles I didn't know I had.

Then, the fact that they have been included in discussions about the health benefits, and have seen how much better I feel has given them motivation to take some responsibility for their health. They all understand how difficult the surgery was for me, and how important it is to try to avoid getting to the point where they need to do the same thing. Kristin is at an age where it is trendy to have a salad for lunch rather than a burger. So, the long answer to your short question is that I think that the benefits of the surgery have trickled down to the entire family.

How interesting this came up.... just last week I was having a discussion about the surgery with my son (who is 11). He is one of the tallest kids in his class and about 10lbs over weight (he carries it mostly in this tummy....baby fat more or less since he hasn't hit puberty yet!) and he said something that blew me away..."Mom, what are all my friends going to say?" and I was like "What? That your mom was once big and now she is skinny?" and he said, "No, that I am with a skinny person and I am fat". I totally couldn't believe it! At age 11 he is already concerned about his body image like that!! He is far from FAT - or what I would consider fat. So I had to give him the beautiful person speech - that he is beautiful the way he is, that I am beautiful the way I am, but that I wanted to be able to grow old and see his kids (then I was informed that he wasn't having any kids - he still doesn't like girls that way ;) ) But I hope he says that when people come and ask him about his mom.

PS - I heard people talking about HOCKEY!?!! My favorite past time!! Watchin, of course! :blink: Did I sense someone was a Western Conference fan!? My team is Colorado - I have been a fan since the Nordiques moved to Denver. LOVE THEM! But unfortunately my boys have been playing golf since the beginning of May - so I am mum about the Stanley Cup finals. :wacko:

Glad to hear this, Jeff! As we both know we come from a family where genetics were blamed for obesity, where there was a blanket acceptance that we would become fat adults because that's the way the family was. I think this was one of the things that made me feel so hopeless as an obese person, that there wasn't anything except surgery (RNY) that I could do but be fat. If we can save this next generation from feeling hopless and doomed then we have done well. I will help with your kids any way I can!




Cody - - wow. An age 11 boy with this perception. Do you know if he is teased at school? Because if he is I'll drive east and whip-some-a**! I'm glad you gave him the "Beautiful Person" talk. And maybe after your surgery he can join you in a walking program.

Kaye - he has been somewhat of a couch potato over the past couple years at home, because that is what he sees (my fault I am afraid). You know how long our winters last! (almost 7 months!). In the summer we always get out and swim and spend alot of time outdoors, but come the end of September and it is back indoors. Also in the summer he gets the speech of "it is too nice to be indoors, go play" and he goes and finds a friend to play with. This past year he was in 5 grade and he played volleyball and basketball (he was amazing, from video game junkie to being competitive and having fun!) so he has showed me alot in the last year that he isn't lazy, he just needs motiviation. I have been an active person most of my life and enjoy it, but I don't want the past few years (after my 2nd child) of inactivity to hinder what he can do. SOOOO, just watch out, in a year or two I may even gather up the kids and ride our bikes to Evanston! (Oh wait, that will never happen... I hate riding a bike in the wind, and when is it NOT blowing here??) :P

I have had to take a good hard look at this question. I'm not sure how my surgery has affected my kids. I know it has made me more aware of how and what my kids are eating. I try to council them on good food and beverage choices. I encourage them to exercise instead of being sedintary. I try not to be the food police for them, but it is very difficult. I have been MO for pretty much all of my adult life. My 17 & 13 year old has never known me as a thin person. My 23 year old son does not seem to have a weight problem, I think his time in the marines helped with that. I feel like I have failed my 20 year old daughter. She is already over 250 pounds and wears 22/24 size clothing. I plead with her to do something about it now so she does not have to go under the knife. My 17 year old daughter and 13 year old son are both on the thick side, but not what I would call obese. My 17 year old thinks that I am overly obcessed with food since I had my surgery. She seems to forget the years before surgery when I was perpetually oh a diet of some kind or another. I am hoping that with time and demonstration my kids will see that I am making permanent healthy changes. And that those changes will rub off on them. Your kids will ultimately do an you do and not as you say. That's just my opinion.

Sharon aka NewBeginnings

Jeff, Your kids sound great! Sounds like they dealt with the whole "New Dad" thing very well and had some very bright answers. I have two kids. Zachary is 9 years old and Jared is going to be 16 next month. Both of my kids were fantastic while I was going through this whole process. My youngest actually cheered me on as I would try on smaller sizes or decide if it was time to get rid of some of my bigger clothes. He was so proud of my accomplishments that he would go to school each day and tell the class, "My mom lost 50 pounds..." He would keep everyone updated. My oldest was pretty cool about things. His friends kept telling him how skinny I was looking and when I joked with him about his "hot mom", he smiled!

Kids, yu gotta love em!
Karrie

Hey, it's good to have another hockey fan in the neighborhood! To answer your question, I am not a Western Conference fan, I'm just Anti Carolina Hurricanes!!! Regina loves me for it. I live in Tampa, and we have season tickets to the Tampa Bay Lightning. Carolina is our toughest divisional rival, as evidenced by their winning the Cup this year in what turned out to be a GREAT series.

Somebody (OK... it was me) started a disucssion thread about the Hockey playoffs a few weeks ago. You can find it here...

Stanley Cup Hockey Discussion

Jeff,

You must be very proud of your kids; they sound great.

I don't have any children of my own, just two furry "dog babies" - but WLS has affected them also. I'm not eating as much, so I'm not giving them as many snacks. :) But I'm taking them for more walks, and as my energy levels improve, this will only get better.

Jeff - interesting thread on the Stanley Cup conversation.....

And your right, once you make it too a game your hooked! When I first starting watching it was when the Avalanche won the Stanley Cup in 1996 - it was by far a Cinderella story. With the surprise arrival of Patrick Roy (I love him & miss him!! But if he was on the 'other' team I would hate him! ;) )and the awesome sweep of the Panthers in the finals. As for conference/divison rivals go.... we had one of the best (because of that playoff season). Detriot! GRRRRRR! I still hate the color red! :angry: Not sure how long you have watched hockey, but those games use to be so great! Even some goalie on goalie fights! Things have mellowed over the years and now we have a new rival - Vancouver. But they have a new coach this year (Crawford hit the road after their no-show in the playoffs) so it might be different next year, unless they keep Bertuzzi. Anyhoo, I look forward to swapping hockey stories with you!

PS - no offense to my fellow hockey fans in the Southeast - but we use to joke when the teams started sprouting up down there that we weren't sure they even had the recipe for ice! :blush: You never see snow and just kind of an odd place for hockey! But I am glad to see that there are very avid fans down that way who take their hockey seriously!

Go AVS! :D

ROTFLMAO!!! One of the funniest things I have heard in ages!

Regina and I can argue about why the southeast is a good place for hockey, or we can just sit back and enjoy the fact that by this time next year the Stanley Cup will have spent THREE YEARS in the southeast division!!!

Hey guys... I am a trans planted Yankee... we used to joke about the same thing before we moved down here!

Cody sounds like a true fan! I am a new fan ... the excitement down here was just so contagious, I caught the fever!

They are still celebrating down here. Team members made thousands of dollars for charity by cutting their hair and auctioning it off... a riot!

Canes rock!